Where I’ve Been, Where I’m at Now

A recent newcomer posted in the forums about their heavy use of cocaine, which caused me to reflect back to my own experiences with the stuff. The last experience was a 3 year long daily affair with which eventually drained every dollar I could muster until I finally vacated the entire environment.

I realized even at the time how powerful it was. It made me lose all interest in alcohol, which has always been my drug of choice. However, when I finally made the decision to escape, there were no physical withdrawals, only psychological ones. Benadryl, the active ingredient in sleep aids (PM) which is relatively safe and not considered to be habit forming, helped with my passage back to somewhat of a state of normalcy. Since then, I've never regretted it, in fact, rarely look back on it - the new poster compelled this reflection.

I'm now back to battling only with my lifelong demon, alcohol, which is enough to keep me humble. At least, I've narrowed down my dependencies to just one, though it's me the addict which is the real problem, the drug is only the vehicle used to administer to it.

In hindsight, I realize I've come a long way from where I once was over ten years ago.

But then again, there's still a long way to go.