Reaching Out for some Moral Support

Been on a binge nearly continuously all year. Finally forced myself to eat, shower and change clothes. Sounds simple, but took a large push for me to do it. Had a 40 earlier, but the money is now gone and I am actually kind of relieved. I try to control these benders, but only stretch them out until I can't financially go on any more. I'm terrified by this. It seems when the beer is present, things seem fine, but I know this an illusion. I get a boost reading about others situations in regards to this disease, as I think a major trigger is being isolated. Neighbor out of town for a few weeks and don't really have a solid support system any more since my case manager has been out for several weeks with a broken arm. Would very welcome some interaction! The way I'm feeling right now, I can't even decide what kind of "smiley" to add to this.