Oh Blimey

I have been an addict most of my life. Smoking cigs at 15 (still haven't given up 34 years later). Then over the counter solphadine Max started 25 years ago, trying to give up now. And drink, became a massive problem 15 years ago, gave up 3 weeks ago.
Today, though I still don't feel 100% (not even 20% right infact) from the years of drinking, I am attempting to give up the codeine (sol.max) It's not a huge habit, 100mg of codeine a day, but in the tablets which are 12.5mg codeine each x8 a day) is 500mg of paracetamol, though while not addictive, I have no doubt have knocked my own natural endorphins out over the last 25 years of daily use.
So today, it's almost 4pm and I have taken 16mg. Once I kick these tablets I hope to have a bit more energy. Today though I feel like poo. Not the horrors the alcohol withdrawal was, but just tired, achy bit of a runny nose and talking of runs, bit of those too. Nothing spectacular, as the actual codeine dose wasn't that large, but 25 years is a long time.
Feel more gutted because it has been my constant psychological crutch for the last two and a half decades :(
I'm getting on now, nearly 50, and I do want to actually experience life without being dependent on some chemical crutch before I peg it. The alcohol has gone for good, there will be no back sliding there, the horrors of drinking became too much to bear in the end.
But this sol. max addiction, it didn't bring me any trouble, only comfort. Though I dread to think what the paracetamol has done to my liver as well as the alcohol..I just have a yearning to live clean...the cigs will be the next to go.
Feeling very timid and want to hide from life today, but I know this is part of what alcohol did to me..knocked the living shite out of me.
Feel like Im at the bottom of a very tall mountain looking up..although it's better than being face down in a ditch looking down! Hey ho..plod on