Day Four – Good Times

I like to use the term "Good Times" a lot because it was my father's last words to me. What an incredible man.

Yesterday I prayed to God, please I need the sun, I need it so badly to pull me through this haze and depression.

Today was pretty great! I woke up close to 7:00 am on a Sunday morning. Um, that hasn't happened voluntarily in a very, very long time. I got up with a burst of energy, and what - no hangover? It's such a significant different kind of start to your day when you don't wake up hungover. Where's my coffee? That's the first thing that popped into my head. Big difference from yesterday morning. I looked outside, there are blue skies and SUNSHINE. We get so much rain and clouds near Seattle, it's pretty tough to stay positive. I needed sunshine on my face and in my soul. Despite the rough patch with my teenage daughter and I have had lately, I managed to convince her to go on a hike with her little sister, stepDad, and myself. We even brought our 2 month old puppy and 3 year old dog with us. We live close to the bay, so we ended up at the beach.

Today I NEEDED to get away, out of the house, away from all the memories in the house that make me desire "the thing we don't speak of". That's what it's become with my husband, it's almost like he is trying so hard to protect me from the word WINE, even from seeing a commercial on tv. I need a distraction, but it's not desperate like yesterday, it's not the only thing on my mind.

So after a hike, a walk on the beach, some ice cream and coffee, we head home. It's way too early for me to go back to that place that screams, "This is your usual spot on the couch every night, when are you coming back to me???" It's taunting me, it's causing me stress again. It's like there are neon signs with arrows all over the house, where I drank wine, where I hid wine, where I hid with the wine. It's nonstop when I'm home.

I asked my husband to take me to lunch. That is also a VERY hard test for me, because 10 times out of 10 times I'm going to have a glass of wine, or a margarita if it's Mexican food, at lunch. Well not today! We had a nice little table at a Japanese restaurant on the water, sipping on my hot tea, watching a little sea lion play in front of us. It was majestic. I know God set this day up for me to continue to have strength.

The key is to push myself out the door. Keep away from the booze. Find happiness in the little miracles that God plants for us, because they are everywhere.

It wasn't a breeze today, by any means, but I did feel a little better than the day before. To me that's worth seeing what tomorrow holds.