Day 28 – Sperm Bank

I was visiting my mom's work, at a doctor's office, I must have been 4, maybe 5. My mother and "birth father" were still married, but wasn't soon after my mom would leave him. I was in the hallway that led to the bathroom and heard her crying. My older sister was very tiny, fragile, and frail, only a few years older than me. He had her in the bathroom with him. She had accidentally vomited on the floor in the bathroom, and he was forcing her to eat it.

I have lived through and survived a nightmare childhood. I cannot tell you the risky behavior that I put myself in many years after, just so I could die. I wanted to die. I wanted to forget. I am going through all the suffering all over again being sober. I am reliving the nightmares in my head. I am wanting to escape the tragedy, and I know it only takes one bottle of Merlot to make that go away.

Taking the sober path, I am forced to feel and cope with the emotional backlash of my sperm bank's evil actions. I had two older, half-sisters that my mother had from a previous marriage, and it's like my "birth father" was punishing them. My sisters today have all sorts of emotional problems, and also have a problem with alcohol. What do you expect? I adore them though. They are like my real sisters and I typically never refer to them as "half" sisters. God put us 3 girls together, knowing we would need each other to survive the atrocities.