Day 16 – Iced Thai Please

Today was a GREAT day! The sunshine was blazing on my face and in my soul. I don't have much of that going on here in Washington. I really need the sun. It is crazy, because I was so happy all day long. The sun makes a huge difference. The rain makes me feel so depressed, it doesn't help me going through the beginning of sobriety. I'm starting to think this move to Washington wasn't the best decision for my family. I wish I felt this great every day.

We are located in a brand new community and watched houses build up all down our street. My neighbors across the street moved in right after us last summer. We really like them a lot, so much fun. They like to drink, too. Margarita Fridays. Well the past two Fridays there have been no margaritas. Luckily my neighbors were out of town last weekend. Tonight I was sweating it, what was I going to say? Would it be best to just come out and tell the truth? Well no I can't do that because I don't want to be the talk of the town. I know, I'll just say I'm doing a detox for a while. So, my neighbor texts me at 5:00 today, asking if I need anything from the store. I replied that I had a better idea, let's try that new Thai restaurant with our husbands. She was on board, so then I texted "I'm DD, I'll drive, I'm not drinking :-)" She said they were on their way over. I was so nervous! Why was I so nervous about making a positive decision to better myself? I should not feel so embarrassed to admit that I am not drinking. I guess I was nervous about the possibility of questions. If I lied about why I was not drinking, I am not a good liar, I was going to have to just fess up when she asked tonight.

BUT SHE NEVER ASKED! Not only did she not ask why I was not drinking, she ORDERED A DIET COKE. Was I tripping? Her husband ordered one beer with dinner, which was fine, it didn't bother me one bit. I had a GREAT time at dinner WITHOUT the booze. I didn't have to try hard to have fun, I just did! Tonight gave me hope. I came home sober and was able to watch a movie (sober) with my daughter, and was not preoccupied with wine on my mind. When the drama broke out with my 18 year old this evening, I was sober, calm, and I listened. Although she's kind of a mess, she still needed her mom to just sit there and listen. After she was done, I told her she was beautiful, and that I see her trying, and that I have faith in her. Not only did I sit on her bedroom floor, I held eye contact with her. A couple weeks ago, Friday night, I would have been hammered, so I would have 1) drunk texted her instead of walking upstairs, 2) been so tired of her drama that we get into a screaming match, or 3) passed out in bed already. I mentally gave myself a gold star for how I handled it this evening.

There are actually humans now moving into those homes on our street, it's pretty interesting to watch (yes I stalk through my window and create stories about them lol). I am still worried about possible invites to Happy Hour and Wine and Cheese gatherings on our street, and saying the words, "I don't drink." I guess I will climb those mountains as they appear, but tonight was a victory for me in both the mom and neighbor departments!

Come on Day 17, it's 11:37 pm, you are almost here!

xoxoxoxxo